Wednesday, December 22, 2010

TOY STORY 3 - A

Tim Allen, Tom Hanks, Joan Cusack
The Toy Story series ends as it began, with a sense of pure, unbridled pleasure that taps directly into one’s inner child and a truly breathtaking look at what it means to be a toy. At turns heartbreaking, laugh-out-load hilarious and touchingly thoughtful, Toy Story 3 is all-around remarkable.

MOVIE MATH: Toy Story + AVERAGE(Up, Chicken Run)

SECRET OF KELLS, THE - C+

Evan McGuire, Brendan Gleeson, Christen Mooney
The Secret of Kells was a surprise Oscar nominee for Best Animated Feature and, from a purely visual point of view, it is easy to see why: The ornate images are beautiful and genuinely appealing. But Kells’ storyline is vague and flat, resulting in a film that appeals to the eyes only.

MOVIE MATH: (Secret of Roan Inish - Ondine) + (The Village - Lady in the Water)

GHOST WRITER, THE - B+

Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Olivia Williams
Roman Polanski’s political thriller builds slowly, but the lack of contrivance and clichéd trickery adds to the unsettling atmosphere of dread at the secrets unveiled. Brosnan does some of his best work as an embattled former PM working with a canny McGregor on his memoirs.

MOVIE MATH: Michael Clayton x (Chinatown + State of Play)

OCEANS - B

Documentary
Though Disneynature’s Oceans suffers from a general lack of flow in structure, the visuals in this aquatic documentary are as gorgeous as anything in 2009’s Earth, with the added treat of delivering images of many undersea creatures so fascinating in their absolute weirdness.

MOVIE MATH: Earth (2009) - (March of the Penguins + Winged Migration + Two Brothers)

PREDATORS - C+

Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Alice Braga
After the inanity of the Alien Vs. Predator series, it’s nice to see the old Predator creatures return to their roots as vicious jungle killers. But despite a lively supporting turn by Laurence Fishburne, too much of Predators feels like a routine exercise in prey versus hunter action.

MOVIE MATH: (Rambo + Commando) x Pitch Black

KARATE KID, THE - B

Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson
This is how remakes should be done, with an updated spin on location and character, an understanding of what hasn’t aged well and enough bright charm to win over the naysayers. Even when at its most contrived, leads Smith and Chan make for a particularly inspired ying-and-yang duo.

MOVIE MATH: Karate Kid (1984) x (The Spy Next Door + [The Forbidden Kingdom - The Last Airbender])

IRON MAN 2 - B-

Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Gwyneth Paltrow
There are a lot more loose bolts and oil leaks in this follow-up to 2008’s smashing Iron Man, as director Jon Favreau seems to pay too much attention to metal-on-metal action and not enough to character or dialogue. Robert Downey Jr. still makes a dapper hero though.

MOVIE MATH: Iron Man (2008) x Spider-Man 3

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON - B+

Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson
The pleasures are plentiful in this zippy and well-designed animated adventure about a young Viking who befriends a dragon. The dragon has a little bit of Stitch in him but the danger level is higher, thereby allowing for even more satisfying levels of adventure mixed in with the laughs.

MOVIE MATH: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs + E.T. / Lilo & Stitch x Reign of Fire

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, A - C-

Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner
This reimagining of the original Elm Street was an attempt to bring horror back to the Freddy Krueger franchise after years of jokey one-liners. But Jackie Earle Healey shows little personality as Krueger and the film falls into a repetitive rut of scare, sleep deprivation, daydreams and death.

MOVIE MATH:  Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - SQRT (Jason Vs. Freddy)

WINTER'S BONE - B+

Jennifer Lawrence, John Hawkes, Garret Dillahunt
A stark and harrowing drama, set in the unforgiving American Ozarks, about a resourceful teenager trying to track down her good-for-nothing father. Jennifer Lawrence is breathtaking as the lead and director Debra Granik does a masterful job of authentically building tension.

MOVIE MATH: AVERAGE (Down to the Bone, Undertow, Snow Angels, Frozen River)

GREATEST, THE - C

Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon, Carey Mulligan
Carey Mulligan is as radiant as ever in this sad family drama as a dead boy’s pregnant girlfriend, but her character is woefully underwritten. She’s too much of a saint, with little time for her own grief over the situation since she is so busy being used as a device to help others.

MOVIE MATH: Ordinary People + Juno

TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE, THE - C+

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Yes, Eclipse is the first entry in the Twilight series that may actually appeal to non-Twihards, but it still remains a decidedly underwhelming franchise. Despite a kick of actual plot, the meagre action takes a backseat to the increasingly gooey and tiresome love triangle at the story’s core.

MOVIE MATH: [Underworld + (Harry Potter x Let the Right One In)] x Pretty in Pink

RAMONA AND BEEZUS - C+

Joey King, Selena Gomez, John Corbett
A friendly and brightly coloured but often extremely bland synthesis of several stories in the Beverly Cleary catalogue. Leads Joey King and Selena Gomez establish a good sisterly rapport, but the story is so episodic, it feels like a bunch of family sitcom episodes jammed together.

MOVIE MATH: (Wizards of Waverly Place / Harry Potter) x Madeline

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED, THE - B

Gemma Arterton, Martin Compston, Eddie Marsan
This is an intense, quickly paced and gripping three-person drama about the complications following the kidnapping of a wealthy heiress. Thanks to the committed performances and skilful, efficient staging, the film is able to overcome its occasionally exploitative tendencies.

MOVIE MATH: Sleuth + Tape + Gone Baby Gone / Mystic River

CHARLIE ST. CLOUD - C

Zac Efron, Amanda Crew, Donal Logue
Zac Efron has never been the most expressive actor – there always seems to be a spark missing in his eyes – which makes him the wrong choice for this mopey, dully scripted and uninspiring drama about a young man struggling to move on after the death of his kid brother.

MOVIE MATH: Remember Me x The Invisible + SQRT(17 Again)

Monday, December 13, 2010

SORCERER'S APPRENTICE, THE - B-

Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina
This big budget adaptation of the classic Mickey Mouse sequence from Fantasia may lack real magic, but it is still diverting studio-generated entertainment for a lazy evening at home, with the oftentimes laborious storyline offset by amusing banter between its two leads.

MOVIE MATH: Fantasia x (Harry Potter + National Treasure)

GROWN UPS - C-

Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock
Adam Sandler comedies are not usually known for their sophistication, but I’d be hard pressed to name one of his films as slapped together and empty as Grown Ups. The whole thing is strung together out of a series of juvenile insults and feels as if they just made it up as they went along.

MOVIE MATH: (Funny People + Paul Blart: Mall Cop + Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo + Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star) x Wild Hogs

Monday, November 29, 2010

LEAVES OF GRASS - B-

Edward Norton, Keri Russell, Tim Blake Nelson
Edward Norton is reliably terrific here as twin brothers – one hillbilly, one academic – and writer-director Tim Blake Nelson does a commendable job of meshing comedy with philosophical musings on the true meaning of happiness. Too bad the final act feels so undeveloped.

MOVIE MATH: The Parent Trap x (Burn After Reading + Pineapple Express)

KILLERS - D+

Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Tom Selleck
This comedy desperately wants to be another Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but it is so cluelessly plotted and written that it really just serves as an insult to one’s intelligence. Heigl’s character shows no consistency from scene to scene and the awful final act basically shrugs off everything from before.

MOVIE MATH: Mr. & Mrs. Smith / Duplicity

GET HIM TO THE GREEK - B

Russell Brand, Jonah Hill, Sean Combs
As hilarious as Russell Brand was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I was hesitant to see a spin-off based on his obnoxious rock-star character Aldous Snow. But this lively and fast-paced comedy does a decent job of humanizing Snow while keeping the laughs arriving a good clip.

MOVIE MATH: The Hangover x (Forgetting Sarah Marshall + Superbad)

Monday, November 1, 2010

RUNAWAYS, THE - C+

Dakota Fanning, Kristen Stewart, Michael Shannon
This biopic gets its energy right at the beginning, only to lose its way around the mid-way mark and ultimately fall apart in a diluted final act. The film wants to show that there was more to the girls than just jailbait sexuality, but it all too often approaches them in just this fashion.

MOVIE MATH: Josie & the Pussycats x (BackBeat + Walk the Line)

BABIES - B-

Documentary
It is nice to see that director Thomas Balmes doesn’t just stick to cutesy images of babies with this nature-documentary approach to little human beings. But his film still lacks too much contrast, thematic flow and context to really engage the mind or heart. It’s sweet but forgettable.

MOVIE MATH: (Baby's Day Out + Babel) x (March of the Penguins - Happy Feet)

JUST WRIGHT - C+

Queen Latifah, Common, Paula Patton
It’s great when a mould-breaking actress like Queen Latifah gets a chance to shine in a big-screen romantic comedy, but the problem with Just Wright is that its story is so painfully formulaic that you can see every dribble and shot from the moment the players enter on the court.

MOVIE MATH: Beauty Shop x (Last Holiday - Eat Pray Love) + Love & Basketball

Monday, October 18, 2010

TINKER BELL AND THE GREAT FAIRY RESCUE - B

Mae Whitman, Michael Sheen, Kristin Chenoweth
Disney’s Tinker Bell series hits a new high with this delightful third entry in the direct-to-DVD franchise, with a more story-driven screenplay and more of an opportunity to give Tink’s friends a moment in the spotlight. Though the songs are underwhelming, it is still a charmer.

MOVIE MATH: Tinker Bell + (Nanny McPhee x E.T.)

ONDINE - B-

Colin Farrell, Alicja Bachleda, Alison Barry
The Irish coast is a majestic setting for this fairy tale about a woman fished out of the water who may or may not be a mystical creature. But though Neil Jordan’s film is a small charmer, its more adult themes oftentimes jam up against the more uneven and juvenile fantasy elements.

MOVIE MATH: The Secret of Roan Inish + Ponyo

REMEMBER ME - D+

Robert Pattison, Emilie De Ravin, Chris Cooper
Twilight vamp Robert Pattison once again opts for moody and distant with this pretentious and pointless picture. The leaden screenplay is muddled to the point of distraction, without any core element of the story appearing to drive the drama and the final act is both contrived and shameless.

MOVIE MATH: (Twilight - True Blood) x (Ordinary People + Dear John)

LETTERS TO JULIET - B-

Amanda Seyfried, Christopher Egan, Vanessa Redgrave
Juliet has a few things going for it, including burst of sunshine Amanda Seyfried as lead and gorgeous visuals of the Italian countryside. But neither of these can fully compensate for its familiar hate-turned-love central romance that unconvincingly moves from one extreme to the next.

MOVIE MATH: (Under the Tuscan Sky – Eat Pray Love) + (Dear John – The Notebook)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

COP OUT - D+

Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott
Kevin Smith has always been a better writer than a director, which makes you wonder what he’s doing directing someone else’s horrid script with Cop Out. Given this film’s tepid dialogue and incompetent plotting, it all feels like it was scraped from the bottom of a barrel of bad 80’s buddy comedies.

MOVIE MATH: The Last Boy Scout + Rush Hour

SOLITARY MAN - B+

Michael Douglas, Jenna Fisher, Danny DeVito
Michael Douglas seems to specialize in playing lotharios who get their comeuppance but given the strength of the screenplay backing him up in Solitary Man, there’s no need to begrudge the familiarity. This is a fascinating character study about a man whose vices are his worst enemy.

MOVIE MATH: (Elegy + Wall Street/Disclosure) x Wonder Boys

ROBIN HOOD - C+

Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong
Gladiator partners Russell Crowe and director Ridley Scott try to strip away the more fanciful elements of the Robin Hood saga with this muddy origin story. But in doing so, they also drain the story of its excitement, with a long and dreary mid-section and not enough zinging arrows.

MOVIE MATH: (Batman Begins - The Dark Knight + Lord of the Rings) x Braveheart x Gladiator

MACGRUBER - C-

Will Forte, Kristen Wigg, Val Kilmer
MacGruber may not be nearly as bad as you may have heard, but it still falls low on the list of quality SNL adaptations. There isn’t nearly enough consistency to MacGruber as a character (think dimbulb version of MacGyver), with long stretches of tedium between very brief moments of fun.

MOVIE MATH: (The Losers - The A-Team) x (Wayne's World)^2

HARRY BROWN - C+

Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Charlie Creed-Miles
Michael Caine is such a nuanced actor that it isn’t difficult to believe that, even at his advanced age, he could be inspired to go on a vigilante streak. What is hard to swallow is Harry Brown’s simplistic take on drug-dealing hooligans and the story’s misguided approach to handling these issues.

MOVIE MATH: Death Wish x Gran Torino

Monday, September 27, 2010

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME - B-

Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, Gemma Arterton
This adequate desert-set adventure may not be as rousing as intended but even with Ben Kingsley relying on his usual bag of tricks, Prince of Persia at least avoids the cheeseball factor of, say, Clash of the Titans. Jake Gyllenhaal makes a somewhat ho-hum hero but at least he has sparks with costar Gemma Arterton.

MOVIE MATH: (Clash of the Titans - Percy Jackson & The Olympians) + AVERAGE(The Mummy + Pirates of the Caribbean)

MARMADUKE - C-

Owen Wilson, Lee Pace, William H. Macy
The folks who desecrated Garfield mine the comic pages again for this misguided and wildly unoriginal mutt of a comedy about an oversized dog. Owen Wilson (Lightning McQueen himself) phones in his work as Marmaduke and the tepid storyline lacks focus or even a whiff of wit.

MOVIE MATH: (Marley & Me + Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel) x (Garfield + Beverly Hills Chihuahua)

THE LAST SONG - C

Miley Cyrus, Greg Kinnear, Liam Hemsworth
The haters may all have it out for Miley Cyrus with The Last Song, but the former Hannah Montana actually has a pleasing vibe here. The biggest problem with The Last Song is that the story feels like an episodic and tiresome hodgepodge of author Nicolas Sparks' most popular hits.

MOVIE MATH: (Dear John + A Walk to Remember) - (The Notebook + Stop-Loss) + SQRT (Hannah Montana: The Movie)

Monday, September 20, 2010

BACK-UP PLAN, THE – C

Jennifer Lopez, Alex O’Loughlin, Linda Lavin
This pregnancy-centric romantic comedy is pure formula, with only the significant charms of Jennifer Lopez really driving it forward. Sadly, not even J.Lo can distract from the fact that her character is aggravatingly self-centered and that costar Alex O’Loughlin is a bland hottie.

MOVIE MATH: (The Wedding Planner - My Best Friend's Wedding) x Nine Months

Friday, September 10, 2010

GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, THE – B

Michael Nyqvist, Noomi Rapace, Sven-Bertil Taube
This Swedish-language adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s best-seller lingers a little too unnecessarily on scenes of violence towards women, but its puzzles, relationships and landscape are enthralling. Kudos to the filmmakers for finding the perfect cast, particularly the spooky Noomi Rapace as the Girl of the title.

MOVIE MATH: AVERAGE(Eastern Promises + The Limey) x (Let the Right One In - Twilight) + Hackers

Thursday, September 9, 2010

PROPHET, A (UN PROPHETE) – A-

Tahar Rahim, Niels Arestrup, Adel Bencherif, Reda Kateb
Jacques Audiard’s prison-based drama is a stunning coming-of-age saga that proves to be a quietly powerful exploration of a French Arab teenager who makes his mark in crime by being a quick study. The drama isn’t sensationalized, rooted instead on loyalties of race and cool manipulation.

MOVIE MATH: (Goodfellas + Gangster No. 1) x Hunger

CITY ISLAND - C+

Andy Garcia, Julianna Marguiles, Steven Strait
Andy Garcia is scruffy and likeable in this light family drama about a corrections officer with dreams of acting, but the storyline is stuffed-to-overflowing with contrivance. Every member of Garcia’s family is hiding a secret and too many of them strain credibility, especially in the final act.

MOVIE MATH: (Brooklyn's Finest - Training Day) + Little Miss Sunshine x A Serious Man

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

YOUTH IN REVOLT – C+

Michael Cera, Portia Doubleday, Jean Smart
It is nice to see Michael Cera him stretch a little in Youth in Revolt, playing the badass alter-ego to his usual persona (sardonic virgin). But there really isn’t enough variety in Revolt, with too much emphasis on visual shorthand and an approach that is too dismissive of its characters.

MOVIE MATH: Adventureland x Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist + Me, Myself & Irene / The Mask

DEATH AT A FUNERAL - B-

Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Tracy Morgan
This unnecessary remake of the hilarious 2007 British comedy of the same name has some moments of roaring laughter, but director Neil LaBute’s tone is spotty and inspired supporting players like James Marsden, Tracy Morgan and Peter Dinklage greatly outshine a miscast Chris Rock and dull Martin Lawrence as the leads.

MOVIE MATH: Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins + (Four Weddings & a Funeral - My Big Fat Greek Wedding) / Weekend at Bernie's

Monday, August 30, 2010

REPO MEN - C

Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Live Schreiber
Repo Men has a nicely grounded vision for the near future, but this contrived sci-fi thriller is weakened by a soft moral code. Though most of the film is based on how violent repo man Jude Law supposedly grows a conscious after he becomes a hunted man, he seems to only care about innocents when it suits his needs.

MOVIE MATH: (The Island - The 6th Day)/Minority Report + Children of Men

SHUTTER ISLAND - B

Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley
Martin Scorsese’s gothic-asylum mystery-thriller grips you as a moody genre piece, with a potent atmosphere of dread, a suitably paranoid DiCaprio and enough twists to keep you engaged. It is also unfortunately a little too long, with too much back-story tagged on as a red herring.

MOVIE MATH: (Secret Window + Gothika) x (Bringing Out the Dead + The Departed)

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - C+

Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bonham Carter
Cracked visionary Tim Burton seems like the ideal choice to helm an adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s head-trip novel, but Alice in Wonderland is a gorgeous mess. There’s not enough to Alice as a character and way too much – it is chaos really – to everything else.

MOVIE MATH: (Disney's Alice in Wonderland + The Chronicles of Narnia) x Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Friday, August 27, 2010

DATE NIGHT - B

Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Mark Wahlberg
The stars of TV’s The Office and 30 Rock make for an amusing and sympathetic pair with this fast-paced and relatively fresh comedy. Sure, the storyline strains credibility as it moves forward, but many of the small touches (particularly a flustered Steve Carell interacting with a shirtless Mark Wahlberg) are fun.

MOVIE MATH: (The 40-Year-Old Virgin + Baby Mama/Knocked Up) x Adventures in Babysitting

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID - C

Zachary Gordon, Robert Capron, Chloe Grace Moretz
Jeff Kinney’s best-selling Diary novels get an awkward live-action treatment with this tiresome look at the difficulties of middle school. Most of the characters are barely realized, ill-fitting caricatures, plus hero Greg all too often comes across as a selfish and whiny jerk.


MOVIE MATH: (Lucas + Malcolm in the Middle) - Angus + How to Eat Fried Worms

FURRY VENGEANCE - D+

Brendan Fraser, Brooke Shields, Ken Jeong
A slapstick stinker that makes Brendan Fraser’s George of the Jungle seem subtle by comparison, Furry Vengeance is like an unholy (and entirely unfunny) cross between Home Alone and Over the Hedge. The group of animals fighting to save their homes have about as much charm as a rabid beaver.

MOVIE MATH: [(Evan Almighty - The Bible) + Over the Hedge] x Home Alone + SQRT George of the Jungle

Monday, August 23, 2010

CLASH OF THE TITANS - C

Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes
Sure, they are a long way from the low-grade cheese of the 1981 original, but the effects in this mythological remake (particularly an encounter with Medusa) are surprisingly shoddy. Worse, the entire film builds to a showdown with the Kraken but the brief final battle is disappointing at best.

MOVIE MATH: (1981 Clash of the Titans - Jason and the Argonauts) + (Percy Jackson & The Olympians / Disney's Hercules)

THE LOSERS - B-

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba
An elite U.S. Special Forces crew track down the man who framed them in this fitfully fun action extravaganza. Most of the heroes (with the exception of a comic Chris Evans) are rather colourless and their big plan is too simplistic, but Jason Patric - seemingly in the midst of a little snit fit – is a hoot as a villainous C.I.A. operative.

MOVIE MATH:  The A-Team + SQRT (Green Zone + Kill Bill)

KICK-ASS - B

Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Nicolas Cage
Superheroes get turned on their heads with this bloody look at real-life superheroes that stands as both a parody and a tribute to the genre. Though some of the violence is excessive (and a little too cartoonish), director Matthew Vaughn mostly gets the tone right – a skilful combo of humour and pain (both physical and emotional).

MOVIE MATH: (Batman Begins + Spider-Man + Watchmen) x Defendor